Glitchworld Fustercluck: Humorous Sci-Fi GameLit LitRPG by Locke Nolan & Hanson Damien

Author:Locke, Nolan & Hanson, Damien
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-07-20T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4 - How to Prove You’re Not Racist

“This is definitely not Stone, Bronze & Iron,” Danielle pouted. “I am going to have such a field day talking to someone’s manager about this. Ooh just they wait. I have an amazing Karen voice.”

She ratcheted up the arrogance in her voice by a factor of about ten. “Don’t touch me! When I’m done with this place everyone in my line of sight will be fired. Have you ever heard of ‘the customer’s always right? Well, honey, you’re about to find out–’”

They had roughly a half second of warning: raining bits of the sky pattered nearby, and all about them the far distance seemed to be sloughing off of a too-close actual wall, maybe forty or fifty feet off. The effect was disorienting and wrong, like stepping onto a glass bottomed observation deck in a tower. The next moment, a huge piece of puffy cumulonimbus cloud crashed down beside them. It was maybe three feet square and briefly became the dark gray stone of a manor house or vampire’s castle before it became a three foot cubed version of the game blocks he’d seen earlier. Another second later, it was back to being cloud.

“Jump!” Gavin shouted.

“There’s no way–” was as far as she got before he shoved her forward, and headed in directly after her. The light was immediately blocked out by another few huge blocks bashing down where they’d stood and over the mouth of this hole.

She screamed the whole way down, and when next he caught sight of her in the emergency track lighting of the tube, the Grecian goddess look had fallen away. In fact, she looked to be smeared with grease and grime from whatever coated the sides of this improvised escape route.

It began to dawn on him that they might be in bigger trouble than just deciding who to screw and where, or having a talk with the park admins about the quality of their gaming experience. This wasn’t the game.

They took a wide loop down, passed through a series of reddish lasers, and heard the ear-piercing alarm go off.

“DILDOS ERROR MESSAGE N00135. TRESPASSING WARNING! WARNING! STAY WHERE YOU ARE. YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO BE IN THE MAINTENANCE AND DELIVERY TUNNELS. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. YOU WILL BE CONDUCTED BACK TO YOUR CELLS. DILDOS ERROR MESSAGE N00135.”

They skidded to a stop somewhere in the pitch black, where Gavin couldn’t make out his greasy fingers in front of his face.

“Gavin?” Danielle called. She was plainly afraid, and he didn’t blame her one little bit. He was pretty close to peeing himself as it was.

He tried to put on a veneer of bravado, on the off chance he could still get into her pants and get an up close inspection of what had been just barely covered up in that magazine photo set. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“What’s going on?” Her hand found his leg in the darkness. “What the hell is DILDOS?”

“I… don’t know.”

She punched him, hard, right in the groin.

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